Final Notice. Please, God, let it be true.

You may have noticed (or perhaps you didn’t) that I took a break from blogging for a bit. OK, a long bit. I just needed to clear my head and didn’t think I really had anything of value to add. But lucky for you (or not) I’m back at it and full of piss and vinegar. (not much vinegar, really). So what hot poker of stupidity has prompted this triumphant return to the blogosphere? Idiocy in email form.

I sometimes wonder what goes through the heads of people who use email marketing thinking they can trick us. Note to spammers: we are not that stupid. Note to one Eric Johnson (if that is your real name) from some joint called “D3 Intelligence” in Seattle Washington (oh irony…) I don’t know what “D3” stands for. I can only guess it’s Dumbass to the third power.

So what offense has this guy perpetrated against my innocent in-box? Three main infractions that insult my intelligence in email marketing

1. Putting “Last Chance” in the subject line and then sending me the same email once a day for three weeks.

Oh no! It’s my last chance! What will I do? I better jump on it – oh wait, tomorrow is my last chance? Or is it Tuesday?

2. Claiming I opted in to your stupid list (I didn’t).

Sigh. Send me something good and valuable and I won’t mind. But telling me I asked for your stupid solicitation? That makes baby Jesus cry.

3. Trying to sell me one of those “Be included in the Who’s Who Among Professionals  yearly registry of global movers and shakers…”

First of all, if you were selling the global directory of “Who’s nobody” I’d be in. I have been known to move and shake but not in a good way.

Moral of the story? If you don’t have any value to bring to the party in my in-box, stay out of it. I’m almost senile, but I’m not stupid. And when I unsubscribe, that means I didn’t opt in.


2 comments

  1. Frank Melvin - July 15, 2011 8:54 am

    Three chears from me. I feel the same way.

    Reply
  2. Pete Monfre - July 15, 2011 9:12 am

    Here’s what is really funny. Just got another “final notice” from Mr. Johnson. I will reply with a link to this article….

    Reply

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