How to know when you might need marketing help.

So I’m sitting with a client and he shows me an industry magazine that includes a feature article on one of his competitors. It’s one of those Q&A format articles where they post a question and the subject of the article answers – usually in a different font and/or color. In this case, I believe it was Comic Sans.

Snappy questions like: “How did you get started in this business?” And “What is your greatest achievement?”

But the one I really liked was the question “What three words describe you?”. Actually, I liked the answer much more than the question. The president of this company replied with three simple words – “Anal, anal, anal.”

Now that’s marketing genius right there. If I were their consultant of choice, I would have covered this possibility in our first meeting together. It would have gone something like this:

Client: So, explain to me what your value is and how you can help us.

Me: Only you can judge my value. I can help you make better marketing decisions which will, in turn, build your business.

Client: OK, but can you give me a specific example?

Me: Sure. If you are interviewed by any publication, talk to anyone in the media, your customers, prospects, in the financial industry, or outside of your personal physician; never use the word “Anal”. Even more importantly, don’t repeat the word “Anal”. Just to be safe, never answer a question where all the words in the answer consist of the word “Anal”.

Client: Uh oh. Is there any way to change an article after it’s been published? Does this advice apply to Facebook or Twitter?

Me: (Sigh)

(This post is based on a true story. I saw it with my own eyes which are now soiled.)


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